A day of wonderful stalking
by MiZZ QuEEn KOnG
Summary: Itachi and Kisame are bored as hell! So they decide to stalk Sasuke.


"Itachi there is nothing to do!" Said Kisame.

"Hmmm…Lets go fishing!" Said Itachi.

"Dead fishies…." (cries) "Itachi! How could you think of such torture! I nearly died last time you forced me to fishing with your Mangekyo." Kisame said.

"Hmmm….I know! Let's go to the leaf village and stalk Sasuke and his team members!" Said Itachi.

"Ooooo…Great idea!" Kisame said in amazement.

Itachi and Kisame stalk Kakashi and Iruka until they make a stop in a field of flowers. Kakashi pulls out a blanket and Iruka takes a picnic basket out. Itachi and Kisame kidnap them and take them to the secret land of Akatsuki. (A.K.A. the cave) Itachi and Kisame transform into Kakashi and Iruka and walk gayishly to Konoha. They reach the main gate seeing Gekkou and Hayate there.

"So…Kakashi and Iruka how was your date?" Asked Gekkou and Hayate.

"Who the fuck are you bastards!" Said Kisame.

"He means Great." Said Itachi.

They walk away and see Sasuke running towards them.

"Kakashi, Naruto picked his nose up too high and his brain is bleeding!" Sasuke said.

"Okay…Go away now." Itachi said.

Sasuke leaves and trips and falls on Shinos' bugs.

"What the fuck Shino!" Sasuke yelled.

"You almost killed my pet bug Brad." Shino said.

Itachi and Kisame quietly stalk Sasuke and silently Sakura was stalking them.

"Kakashi and Iruka what are you doing?" Sakura asked.

"Umm…oh…Gay love!" Said Kisame.

"Oh…um…okay…?"she said leaving.

"GAY LOVE! Was that the best you could come up with!" yelled Itachi.

"You were speechless so…umm..take that!" said Kisame.

"What ever! Look he is moving." Said Itachi.

They stare closely at Sasuke as Sakura leaves and walks away saying bye to them blowing their cover.

"Sensei! There you are! I need help…how do I let my fan girls know I am gay?"He whispered.

"Just tell them straight forward." Said Itachi.

"Sensei you smell like Itachi. Iruka you smell like a fish out of water!" Said Sasuke.

"Sasuke…" Itachi puts his arm on Sasukes' shoulder "Stop picking your nose." Said Itachi.

"No I don't!" _Oh crap how does he know! _"I HATE YOU!" Sasuke said running.

Itachi and Kisame go to the hospital to mess around with Tsunade and Shizune.

"Tsunade, there has been a report with the Akatsuki. I heard they were planning to Kill Naruto today at exactly 5 PM!" Itachi said.

"Good job Kakashi I will get prepared." Said Tsunade.

Itachi and Kakashi walk out of the office and on the way out Kisame grabs Shizunes' butt. She blushes and nearly kills him. They continue to stalk Itachis' booger picking brother as her runs around being emo. He stops and looks around and grabs a Pop tart out of his pocket and starts to eat it. Itachi gets the sudden urge to snatch it from him but before he could Kisame pulled him back. Itachi sits down calm as Kisame jumps up and snatches the Pop tart from Sasuke.

"Iruka!" Yelled Sasuke.

"Ah hahahahaha!" laughed Itachi.

"Chidori!" yelled Sasuke.

"Crap!" Itachi yelled.

Sasuke attacks Kisame with his chidori and nearly kills him as Itachi sits there laughing. Sasuke takes his Pop tart back and runs away. Kakashi and Iruka appear ho… lding hands and trying to find Itachi and Kisame.

"Kakashi-kun, do you think we will ever find them?" Asked Iruka.

"Iruka, they must be in our form. Why else would they kidnap us and show us to their ultra secret hideout?" Said Kakashi.

"Hey! Your not my beloved Kakashi!" Said Iruka.

"No, Duh?!" Said NonKakashi.

"Who are you then?" Asked Iruka.

"Drum rolls please?..." It is silent as NonKakashi waits. "Well any ways I am…"

Iruka stares intensely at NonKakashi as he waits for his transformation.

"Shikamaru!" Iruka freaks out. "I should have known! It would have tooken Kakashi forever to find out what they have done and how to get out of the cave." Said Iruka.

"If you ever wondered why I always said girls are so troublesome…well I was always gay…" Shikamaru says.

Back to Itachi and Kisame…

Itachi and Kisame wander around Konoha looking like complete idiots. Kisame runs out of chakara and turns back into himself.

"Itachi." Said Kisame.

"Yes Iruka….What the fuck happened to you!?" Asked Itachi.

"I am out of Chakara…" Said Kisame.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!! Akatsuki members!" yelled a pedestrian.

"Lets go! ULTRA nasty disappearing jutsu!" Yelled out Itachi.

Itachi picks his nose and takes out his oddly neon green colored booger and throws it onto the ground. Suddenly smoke appears and they disappear.

Somewhere in the ninja world…

"You took the wrong turn Kisame!" yelled Itachi.

"Then where do you want to go then?" Said Kisame.

"Hmmm…Pein is going to kill us." Said Itachi.


End file.
